Rev. Dr. Stephanie A. Ford, "The Essential Call to See the Light in Each Other"

 

The Essential Call to See the Light in Each Other

---Rev. Dr. Stephanie A. Ford

             

            At the heart of ministry is an insight perhaps named most clearly by our Quaker sisters and brothers – it is this, that there is “something of God” to be found in every soul, a “spark of divinity” in every heart, often referred to by the Friends as the “Inner Light.” Rabbi Jen Feldman also named this precious spark in a blog: “[it is] Judaism’s understanding that we are born with inviolable, pure souls – the inner life spark from God that unites us with the One.” (Journey of Mourning,1/13/22)

I have experienced the power of this truth. Once when I was struggling with my own mental health difficulties, a woman I had never met before came over to me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “The light is strong in you.” This stranger gave me an incredible gift, for I had been seen at my core. It was something I had tried to remind friends and parishioners of during times when their own spark seemed obscured by depression or anxiety. But this time, I needed to hear this truth. Indeed, our brains, our feelings, are not the final arbiter of reality; there is something deeper.

            Of course, depression, addiction, and other forms of mental illness do not disappear because of one word spoken, but a clear word offered at the right time can linger in the psyche and soul – and then the constant, loving regard offered time and again can reverberate a sense of peace and grounding. That’s why we need the proverbial village. It’s true that faith communities may no longer be at the center of our culture but they continue to be a strong and important ally to countless folks. Jesus knew the importance of looking another person in the eye and speaking directly to that spark of divinity in the one he was speaking to. On his way to a healing, he turns and looks at the woman who has touched the hem of his garment; he takes time to look into her eyes, to really be present to her.

In the Tree of Life Version (TLV) of the Bible, Matthew 9:20-22 says that a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years came up behind Jesus and touched the tzitzit of his garment. The woman believed that touching his garment would heal her, and Jesus said, “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well”. The woman was healed immediately. (The tzitzit serves as a holy reminder of the Torah, so her status as a woman, bleeding, made her an outcast, and thus unlawful in her touch.) A question that remains from this passage for as a clergyperson is in what ways do I separate myself from a person struggling with a mental illness who comes for my help. It may not be an “issue of blood,” but a mental illness that I turn away from...

            As a parent, I also became acutely aware of mental health challenges when my child, and later adolescent, faced struggles. Though a clergyperson, I didn’t have special powers, and I had the same blind spots that most every other parent has. I saw her beauty and her anguish; and I longed to make her way easier. I, too, needed help navigating the morass of imperfect mental health care options.

            How did my faith community meet me? One of the things faith communities can do and did do in my case was provide networking: FaithConnections, NAMI, other parents sharing ideas in confidence, small reading groups, prayer groups. And then the faces of loving regard in the church folks who week after week saw my child’s inner light, saw her creativity and strength. If you are looking for a way to make a difference in the mental health of another, notice the awkward child or youth who doesn’t make eye contact or the lonely adult in your congregation or community, acknowledge what they are doing and who they are– affirm their presence while respecting boundaries. Involve them in a conversation or an interested question. You might not get a big response, but your care will be felt.

            We are called to see the Light in the other who may be very different from us. For faith communities, we are weekly challenged to respond to individuals with financial needs, many of whom are unhoused, many who also struggle with mental illness. Naturally, they turn to religious sources, places of compassion, for help.

As a working Christian minister, Sundays were always the busiest of days. From the moment your eyes open, there is an inner list you are working from and praying about, from getting together last-minute craft supplies to touching up a liturgy. By the time services end hours later, you are spent. That was how I would describe a certain Sunday when a young woman, dealing with homelessness, showed up at the church office after services asking for assistance. I wanted to help, but my heart was not very joyful at the prospect. Thankfully, a dear church friend showed up at that very moment. He is a pastoral counselor, and he assessed the situation quickly. He could see that the young woman was anxious, suffering, and likely unhoused; he could tell that I needed a partner. He joined me in talking with her.

What I discovered watching him was that he was giving to her what that previous stranger had given me. Unwavering, uncritical acknowledgement of her personhood. She was carrying the Light Within. Although the woman’s anxiety was overwhelming, my friend spoke calmly, showing interest and care in the details of her life. He saw the spark of wholeness within her and was simply present to her. In the minutes that followed, the three of us worked out a plan for help in the near-term; he also talked about long-term support she could look for. He was optimistic, appreciative of her resources. Did he see something in her that I could not? Yes, in that moment, he did!

Mental Health is subjectively defined, and in fact, all of us face mental health challenges at one or more times in our lives. Overwhelming grief, sudden loss, insomnia, and physical pain can cloud the light of a strong mind and heart. The thing we cannot forget is that no one, no matter how lost they seem from themselves, is not without the spark of divinity within. And we can be “place-holders” with faith in that Light, which is never snuffed out.

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Stephanie Ford taught for a decade at the Quaker seminary, the Earlham School of Religion, Richmond, Indiana, and then served as Minister of Christian Formation at Binkley Baptist Church in Chapel Hill for another 11 years. She is currently caring for her mother in Durham, North Carolina.

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The Clergy and Mental Health Blog is a forum for faith leaders to share insights and observations, sometimes speaking from personal experience, about faith and mental health.  We welcome diversity of thought and perspective.  The view of authors are their own and do not represent the views of the blog as a whole.

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