Caleigh Grogan, Intern Minister, The Community Church of Chapel Hill, Unitarian Universalist, "Love and Acceptance in the Internet Age"

 

Love and Acceptance in the Internet Age

 —--Caleigh Grogan

At some point in my early twenties, my mom commented on the fact that all of my close friends deal with some kind of diagnosed mental illness. Now, nearly a decade later it remains true that most if not all of my closest friends are managing some kind of depression, anxiety, PTSD, or a combination thereof. And if you spend a lot of time on the internet it may seem that the majority of the population is managing some kind of mental health related diagnosis.

Though not exactly a majority, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, about 23% of American adults experienced mental illness in 2022. The percentage jumps to over 36% if you look at young adults ages 18-25. And among adolescents, just under 50% experienced some sort of mental health disorder.

People much more qualified than me certainly have a better understanding of why mental health concerns are so prevalent, especially among young people. But from my own perspective, I imagine one significant factor is the overwhelming media landscape we find ourselves in.

For many, so much of our work and socialization has gone online where we are constantly bombarded with influencers, ads, and news; all of which are vying for our time and attention. Seeing the curated lives of friends and celebrities gives us more than ever to compare ourselves to, more opportunities to feel less-than or behind in life. Ads in every corner are designed to make us feel deficient and insecure as they add to financial stress that’s becoming more and more serious for so many. The news, both local and global, is disheartening to say the least. It is easy to feel powerless and insignificant in the face of growing threats of violence close to home and the knowledge of wars and genocides overseas, not to mention climate catastrophe, of which young people are particularly aware. I don’t know if all this is why there seems to be a decrease in general mental wellbeing, but it certainly isn’t helping.

While we can’t, as individuals, drastically change the media and information landscape, we can do our best to counter its effects through our relationships. When there are so many ways the world can make us feel small, feel less-than, and incomplete, we can remind one another of our wholeness, of our worth and dignity.

One childhood memory in particular has helped teach me the power of recognizing and uplifting the dignity of others.

I was nine or ten years old and at the beach with my dad, a friend, and my friend’s mom. As we were walking down the boardwalk away from the beach, my friend and I trailed just a few feet behind our parents. Her mom was telling my dad about something that I have no recollection of, but I remember asking her a question about it.  My friend’s mom looked over her shoulder and told me that it was none of my business. I was startled because my parents did not speak to me that way. I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my curiosity. My dad responded calmly to this friend’s parent, saying something along the lines of “You know, I really try not to talk in front of my daughter about things that aren’t her business.”

I don’t remember how my friend’s mom responded, but I remember how my dad’s words made me feel. I felt seen, I felt respected, I felt affirmed as a whole and worthy person.

My Unitarian Universalist faith calls me to recognize the inherent wholeness and worthiness in every person. Our Universalist roots offer us the idea that a loving God would not condemn anyone to hell; that no one, no matter who they are or what they do, could exist outside of God’s love. This was a radical notion at the time and fuels our radical acceptance of all people just as they are.

We can create communities that offer an alternative to the messages that permeate so much of our culture; messages that tell us we are insufficient, insignificant, constantly lacking and in need of improvement. We can insist that there is no one correct way to live or feel or believe. You are not deficient or bad or unworthy. You are a blessing who deserves to thrive. We create this community and send these messages both by working for causes that recognize people’s dignity, like housing and food justice, and by being thoughtful in the way we treat and talk to all those we come into contact with. We can make a practice of speaking with kindness, of examining how our own assumptions and biases may prevent us from being as kind and generous as we could be.

When we’re surrounded by more information and influences than we could possibly take in, and in a culture that stresses consumption and perfection – or at least perpetual self-improvement – may radical love and acceptance be a balm.

 

Caleigh Grogan (she, her) is a life long Unitarian Universalist born and raised in New England. She received an MDiv from Harvard Divinity School in 2025 and currently serves as the Intern Minister at The Community Church of Chapel Hill, Unitarian Universalist. Caleigh has a passion for worship and ritual and is pursuing ordination with an eye toward parish ministry.  c3huu.org

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